A guy is driving around in the mountains of Montana and sees a sign in front of a broken down shanty-style house: “Talking Dog For Sale.” Curious as to how someone thinks they can pull off a scam like that, he rings the bell.
The owner appears and tells him the dog is around back. The guy goes into the backyard and sees a nice looking Labrador retriever sitting there.
“Yep,” the Lab replies.
After the guy recovers from the shock, he says “So, what’s your story?”
“Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA. In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping.
“I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running. But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn’t getting any younger. So I decided to settle down and signed up for a job at the airport to do undercover security, wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals.
“Then I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I’m just retired.”
The guy is amazed. He goes back inside the house and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.
“What? This dog is amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?”
“Because he’s a liar. He never did any of that crap.”